My Thoughts, Honestly

Hi All...

2009-06-01T08:48:00.002-04:00

Just a quick note that I'll be posting in my other journal more now, than here, at least for awhile.

Feel free to join me. ~Flight of the Dragonfly~

Right now, there is more going on in my inner life than my outer, at least that I feel I want to talk about. I've wanted to change the name for quite some time, but didnt' feel ready to take that step, as I also wanted to begin exploring some of what I've been experiencing lately, there. Now, I think I'm ready.

~Thanks For Stopping By~

10th, 11th, ... 13th~~Oops!

2009-05-13T20:54:00.002-04:00

Well, I have not met the challenge of posting every day! ::sigh::

Truthfully, it wasn't feeling very inspirational to try to come up with "interesting" topics to discuss every day-it was stressful. I think one of my downfalls was taking on 2 posts a day. For someone who hadn't been writing for over 2 months it was a bit on the insane side. I will get back into writing more often now, though, so all is not lost.

My car has to go see her favorite mechanic again on Friday. Now it's the headlight switch. I was joking with him about becoming the local gerontology(I think that's the word I want) mechanic. He was working on an old beater truck when I arrived. He said he likes working on older vehicles, there's alot of life left in many cars that are left for dead. Anyway, he pulled the fuse as I couldn't turn the lights off, and I told him that I didn't have to drive anywhere in the dark till Sunday.

The snack monster has invaded my life. Last night I got home about 7pm and didn't really feel like fixing anything for dinner, so I just had some crackers with hummus and mushrooms with creamy italian salad dressing. Tonight I'm eating popcorn-with real butter-for dinner. I'm just in one of those moods where nothing sounds good, and I did eat very healthy for breakfast and lunch.

It's a rainy evening, the fire danger is "Very High", so it's a good thing. We had a wildfire just north of here last spring. They've been working on logging out the area, to promote faster recovery, but you can still see the charred areas on alot of trees. And with the removal of so many others it just looks barren and scarred.

Well, that's about it for tonight. Have a good one...

~Thanks For Stopping By~

Short and Sweet.

2009-05-11T21:51:00.002-04:00

...simply because I'm very tired tonight. I was up till 12am, then up at 5:45 this morning and have had a busy day.

My car has been repaired-well at least the oil leak-and it was $15 cheaper than quoted! Yay! Next on the list is a thorough tune-up. Did I mention that she's over the 200,000 mile marker now? I've put almost 100,000 of those miles on her all by myself. She had 108,000 when I bought her on Jan. 31st, 2003. I've sure gotten my $2500. worth! My mechanic swears I can get another 30,000 or 40,000 out of her, yet.

Today I headed south around the lake to the other state park, the South Higgins Lake State Park. I don't usually go there in the summertime. It's more of party park with a much younger crowd. It's the second largest state park in Michigan-campsite wise, with 400. That, up here in a rural area, is almost a town all on it's own. There's just too many people there for me. But....this time of year all is quiet.

My only companion today was a black squirrel that sat about 10 feet away warily hoping to share my corn chips(I love corn chips). He/she got within 4 feet of me, eventually, and was quite comical to watch, but didn't really care for the piece of banana I tossed out.

I walked along the shoreline with my baggie(I don't know where the park's trash bags are) and had it full to overflowing, wishing I had another, when I looked ahead and there in the waves washing up on shore was a baggie! I swear! I filled it up as well. Now, my legs really are protesting tonight.

The south end of the lake is actually much warmer than the north end. There aren't as many springs feeding in, so I could wade a bit without my feet going numb. There have been some minnow hatches, so there were all these little tiny 1/2 inch fishies, following me around checking out the top layer of sand that I stirred up, where they find their dinner plankton.

I spent over 2 hours in the sun, fresh air and breezes. That's always an ingredient for a good night's sleep. Which is what I'm going to do as soon as I post in Walking...

~Thanks For Stopping By~

Honoring Mother Earth

2009-05-10T22:59:00.002-04:00

First, Happy Mother's Day. Well, what's left of it....

Since my Mother's Day was fairly low key-remember my son lives in Cleveland and is a poor college student-I treated myself to one of my favorite dinners-snacks! First there was corn chips, a banana and tea at the lake. Then, when I got home I had some pickled bologna, cheese and crackers. And now I am dipping my hand into a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I just love to snack on dry cereal and this is right up there with Cheerios.

I stopped at the lake this afternoon. It was a beautiful day, if a bit on the cool side. My only companions were a couple seagulls standing at the waters edge facing toward the sun, dipping their heads for a drink every so often. They were watching and waiting for me to move away-too shy to move any closer to eat the corn chip crumbs I'd shared. A mallard, about 20 yards out in the water, swimming along and disappearing once in a while as he dove for his dinner. A nuthatch hopping up and down the trunk of a huge white pine, dressed in his little waiter's tuxedo-you know the waiter with the slicked back hair and the pencil mustache from the old 40's movies? That's what they remind me of. And a crow sitting on a tree branch off to my right side, cawing every so often and listening for an answer with his head tilted like he was really paying attention.

I was serenaded by birdsong and the light breeze whispering in the tops of the trees. The sun cast a warm glow from the dome of pale blue sky, bordered by a layer of shallow white clouds around the rim. The sand was cool, the water, cold. I can't go there without sticking my toes in.

I took my shoes and socks off, and rolled up my pant legs, so that I could walk along the water's edge. There's about a half mile stretch of beach. As I started to walk, I kept seeing little pieces of trash. Chunks of foam from someone's cooler, plastic bottle caps, and other assorted trash. So I went back to the picnic table and got the baggie I'd brought for my trash and resumed my walk. I filled that bag and could have used a second one. And there aren't even people using the beach yet.

Imagine how much there is on a summer day. Yes, I know the park employees come along every morning and pick up trash and move all the picnic tables back up away from the shoreline(I get tired of dragging one back down there every day), but they don't get the little things. The cigarette butts, the little sticks for the cheese and cracker trays, candy wrapper pieces, popcan tabs.

So... every time I go to the lake this summer, in honor of Mother Earth, I am going to walk along the shoreline and pick up trash. Only I'll use their little trash bags. Just to keep my little corner of the world a bit cleaner. I'll feel good and have "killer" leg muscles from walking a mile in that wet sand. My shins and outer thighs are a bit sore tonight.

I can add a Ruby-throated Hummingbird to my list. He almost flew into my face this afternoon. I thought it was still too early for them, it's below average temps for this time of year.

If anyone gets tired of reading about all the birds, I'll stop listing them....but my posts will be alot shorter...she chuckles as she strolls away...

~Thanks For Stopping By~

Life is.....

2009-05-09T21:39:00.002-04:00

what happens while you're making other plans. For the last couple of days anyway. The plan is to stop at the lake on the way back into town most days, with the exception of rainy weather and my Thursday evening shift. I've only been able to stop 2 afternoons so far. I had to work late yesterday and had to do errands and some shopping tonight because I'll be without a car on Monday. I hope this isn't going to become a trend....

Bird sighting alert! Today was an exceptional day for spying new birds to add to my list. Oh, I forgot to mention that I'm starting a list of all the birds I see this summer. I obtained a copy of a list of birds most likely to be seen in this area, and have been checking them off when I can positively identify them. A cheap, fun project. I can carry my binocs and list in the car with me all the time.

I added a Baltimore Oriele this morning at my client's house. It was kind of exciting...she had never seen one and she called me into the living room to see the unusual orange bird in the yard. I told her what it was and we watched him for several minutes. I picked up a couple oranges for her to add to her feeder.

Then this afternoon, I sighted an Indigo Bunting. He was sitting on a white pine waiting for his turn at the feeders-which were full of goldfinches and the grosbeak couple. It's been several years since I've seen one.

On my way to go shopping, I also got to add a pair of Common Loons to my list. They were in the flooding area(an overflow) of Houghton Lake. Then just past them, I saw a pair of Canada Geese and at least 6 goslings, still tiny and fuzzy. Can we say "awww"? How cute! The duck crossing sign has been uncovered(they put a board over it in the winter), and soon we'll be seeing snapping turtles on the road warming themselves in the sun.

I talked to Son tonight. He got to see live chickens up close and personal, for the first time in his life. I got a real chuckle out of it, he was sooo excited. He said that the city of Cleveland had just recently approved allowing chickens to be raised within the city limits and someone has a permaculture garden area that he went to view, along with the chickens.

I've got to move along for this evening...

~Thanks For Stopping By~

"Frankly My Dear" Friday

2009-05-08T22:07:00.004-04:00

I don't give a damn.....

This idea was created by Lori at Dusty Pages last month on April 9th, and I'm just now catching up to what I think is a great concept.

My frustration on my first "Frankly My Dear" Friday is with the male of the species!

To any of my male readers, this is not directed at you. Just one certain male creature.

I would just like to know why some men are as dense as the fog on a warm lake on a cold morning!

Tonight we were sitting at the table discussing plans for gardening and gathering wood for the firepit and smoker. You have to have a permit issued by the Dept. of Natural Resources in order to harvest downed dead(only) wood on state land. It's a 90 day permit with a 5 cord limit for personal use(not to sell). I don't think this particular permit is for those who use wood as a source of heat, that's a different permit. But for $20, you can harvest alot of firewood and I made the comment that we could stack enough to have some for the fireplace next winter.

"The fireplace chimney has to be cleaned before we dare use it." Okay we'll find someone to come in and clean and check the chimney this summer.

"That permit isn't for fireplace wood. That's a source of heat." Right, but not the 'main' source of heat. That's the different permit.

"That's alot of wood to cut and haul." I'm more than willing to come out in the woods and haul wood that you cut. I'd like to have a fire in the fireplace, I think it'd be nice.

"It's getting too warm for a fire now, and I'm starting back to work(Thank The Gods!), so I don't have the time." I'm not talking about doing this right now-next winter. Oh, just never mind.

With that he stalks off, goes to his room, changes his clothes and leaves.

Buh Bye! I've got journal entries to do....mwuhahaha.

I just get so fed up with his attitude at times. If it's something he doesn't want to do he plays dumb. Or agrees to do something and then just never gets around to it(a round tuit, which I actually have someplace, cute little wooden coin).

I don't ask him to do many things for me. He had a cow, when I asked him if he could pick me up when I drop my car off to be worked on. "I have to go to work at 7:30 on Monday." I can drop my car off on Sunday after work, I'm not asking you to be late for work, bonehead. Just never mind-I'll walk.

I asked him to check out my bike, get it ready to ride this summer. I need the gearshift adjusted or fixed. An hour of his time, if that. A month later and it's still not done. It won't be done by him, now, so if I want to ride, I'll have to pay someone else to do it(which I can't afford, right now).

End of rant. Actually not the whole end of my frustration, that's just what has me doing my Rhett Butler imitations tonight.

Deep Breath...In....Out...In...Out... :)

~Thanks For Stopping By~

Thankful Thursday!

2009-05-07T22:39:00.002-04:00

I was starting to panic-no topic for today's entry and tick, tick, tick.....
Wait! It's Thursday, there's my topic. So, without further ado....
I am Thankful:

1. For my job. A steady schedule with almost full time hours. I'm very fortunate as I really enjoy my work too.

2. For my mechanic. I have an oil leak and a tight schedule as far as getting my car in to be worked on. I called him tonight and he said that he can work on my car 1st on Monday! Yay!

3. That warmer weather seems to finally, truly be here to stay. This past winter I felt cold all the time. I haven't had a jacket on since Tuesday morning! I do wear a sweatshirt to go on my walks in the morning, though.

4. For bananas. I've been craving them for about a week now and I have at least one every day! Although, if you were to ask, I'd have to say that pears are my favorite fruit. There must be something in the bananas that my body needs right now.

5. For Patience. Today was just one of those days. A driver cut me off when I was getting ready to exit the expressway this morning-I should include some quick reflexes along with the patience. Then there was the inconsiderate shopper that cut in front of me at the grocery store. I was waiting in a long line to check out. Another cashier opened the next register and motioned me(with 5 items) ahead. As I was turned to step over, this woman with $187.36 worth of groeceries whisked her cart right in front of me. I know deep breathing and I'm not afraid to use it!

6. For coffee, as always. I've been the tiniest bit unfaithful lately, drinking iced tea during the day, but I still savor that first cup in the morning and when I get home from work! Oh, and have you tried that new flavored creamer by International Delight? Carribean Cinnamon Creme-Yummy!

I still have to go post an entry in "Walking In My Shoes, Honestly", and it's 11:15, I've gotta go...

~Thanks For Stopping By~

Mom? Is That You?

2009-05-06T21:29:00.003-04:00

I recently received a box of things that my aunt(my mom's sister) had stored. She's sold her house downstate and is moving to Virginia to live with my uncle(mom's brother). Her health is poor and they've decided that they can help each other grow old. My cousins all live close by there, too.

The box contains things that were my mom's. Baby things-blankets, clothes, shoes, some of her report cards from elementary and high school, an autograph book from high school, some photos and her wedding dress. I haven't taken the dress out of the bag it's in, yet. It was just stuffed in a plastic bag, so I don't know what condition it's in.

Receiving these things made me realize that I don't know much about her life when she was young. I thought she had graduated high school here, a year before my dad. Nope, she graduated from a high school about 40 miles south of here.

I always thought I looked more like my dad. But after seeing photos of her when she was young, I can really see the resemblance between us. Especially around our eyes. A happy surprise!

There were a couple pictures of my dad in his army uniform, my grandparents when they were younger, one of my great-grandmother, who lived to be 104. Very cool.

From her report cards, I learned that my lack of mathematical ability is hereditary! Otherwise, she was a pretty good student. We had very similar childhoods-girl scouts, summer bible camps, camping at Higgins Lake, and a love for nature.

I'm so glad I got the chance to connect with her this way.

~Thanks For Stopping By~

Pizza Anyone?

2009-05-05T21:06:00.002-04:00

For quite awhile now, with the exception of baking during the holidays, I just don't want to spend much time cooking. The quicker and easier, the better! Maybe it's the fact that I'm only cooking for myself, I don't know. That and the fact that doing dishes is one of my least favorite household chores....

If I do cook, I make enough for leftovers-a couple days worth. That kills two birds with one stone, just heat it up and wash one plate and utensil when you're done! I've been trying some of those microwave entrees-Michelina has some that aren't too bad and they don't break the bank. And one of my latest favorites is buying a frozen pizza, adding more cheese as they never put enough cheese on them. I usually take the leftovers for lunches on days when I don't get the chance to come home. It's a nice change from sandwiches.

I tried one tonight from Walmart. Chicken, Bacon and Ranch. I like this pizza ALOT! While I like the tomato sauce on regular pizzas, I don't like it heavy. This one had a white sauce with ranch flavor. Very unique combination. I'm going to have to figure out how to do this one homemade. Maybe with mushrooms, and using frozen bread dough for the crust.

I finally found someone in the office at the State Park and got my yearly sticker! ::happy sigh::
Now, I can stop on my way home from work(4 or 4:30pm) and relax in one of my favorite places.

This time of year, the beach is quiet. Just me, the ducks and gulls-and millions of black flies! I had to pull a picnic table down onto the sand in the sun to get away from them-no problem. Oh, there may be a few stray visitors- just as I was leaving tonight, a woman arrived with her daughter and dog, with McDonalds bags in hand, for dinner in the park. I bet they had fun...and used the picnic table down on the sand!

Did you know that Mother's Day is Sunday? Did you know that I thought it was next Sunday(the 17th)? Geez, I need to pay attention to the calendar! I usually buy my clients a plant or a small bouquet and a nice little card, so I've got to get my butt in gear, go buy and deliver the ones I won't see on Sunday.

I can't always claim to be paying the closest attention to the world around me...

~Thanks For Stopping By~

Sniff...aahhh!

2009-05-04T21:46:00.002-04:00

My bed smells like a spring day. My nightie, too! It almost makes doing the laundry something to look forward to! Almost. One good thing about going to the laundrymat is that the grocery store and dollar store are right nearby, so I can do errands instead of just sitting there. Today, I walked to the dollar store, getting my morning walk in, too. I feel uber efficient!

The state park beckons me. It was the perfect afternoon to walk along the beach, sit at a picnic table in the sun, relax after work. The problem is that I'm having a hard time finding anyone in the office to sell me one of those little stickers. I wanted to go to the park after work, thought I was going to get lucky, the gate to the office driveway was open, but the office was locked. I went to the park(it's across the road), but no one was in the booth either. My official state website says I can go to the DNR office for one, I'll call them in the morning.

I spotted the male rose-breasted grosbeak today. He was at the back feeders and the female was at the front. I also saw a red-headed woodpecker. We've(well, my client) had a couple of red-bellied woodpeckers, and one pilleated has appeared , but the red-headed has been absent till today. They are such beautiful birds to see. Their head is a deep solid red, the body solid white and their wings black. Very distinctive.

Today's entry is short. My computer(security suite) does a scan on Monday nights, and it's hard to do other things while it's scanning, so my time is limited. There's a button you can click to have the scan run in the background, but when I try to do that, it stops the scan. So, I just let it do it's thing. Talk to you tomorrow...

~Thanks For Stoppping By~

3 Days in a Row!

2009-05-03T21:44:00.002-04:00

*30 days in the hole*....Now I've got that song stuck in my head...well, it rhymed....

What a nice day for a canoe race. I went to the river park to watch the racers today. C-1, which is a one man(or woman) canoe. They start at 15 second intervals, already in their canoes in the river, and it's more of a best time, rather than who gets back first. The first paddlers made it in just over an hour, so I did get to see some of them return to the start/finish line.

It was fairly cool out this morning, but a couple of the local kids were swimming. Well, jumping in the river and running right back out. That is just nuts. I stuck my hand in the river and it is downright icy!

There's a pair of mallard ducks that have a nest near the park, they were in attendance today, too. They'll come right up on the lower part of the dock, hoping for handouts. The treat-de-jour was hot dog bun pieces. They won't come up and take it out of your hand, but will get fairly close. I can't wait to see the little ones with mama duck this summer.

It's going to be nice again tomorrow, so I'm going to hang my laundry outside. I just love the way clothes smell and feel when they've been hung out, all fresh and crisp. Not many people do that anymore, do they? I think I'm the only one in my neighborhood.

I've seen a few more birds around lately. Lots of bluejays, right now. I don't remember seeing any at all over the winter, but they are year round residents here. I also saw my first rose breasted grosbeak(female) at my client's feeders today, the male wasn't far away, I'm sure. And I just barely caught a glimpse of a cardinal at the river today, too. The goldfinches are all the way gold again. They're kind of a muddy greenish color in early spring. I really enjoy watching the crowds at the feeders, kind of like a deli-get up to the counter, get your order and move out of the way for the next customer.

It's time for my day to end, so that's it for tonight.

~Thanks For Stopping By~

May? Really?

2009-05-02T20:31:00.002-04:00

I've checked my calendar(s), I've checked the weather reports. I've seen the harbingers of spring( the robins) returning from their winter homes. The lilacs have leaf buds that are swelling every day. It's getting light earlier, and stays light later each day. The ice is gone from the lake, and most signs point to the fact that spring has sprung. The only element still dragging it's feet is the temperature.

We've had a few nice, warm, sunny days, but it's still jacket weather here. That's putting a damper on my plans to get the gardening started. I've got seeds to start, but don't want to rush it. I don't have the room or enough light to start plants in the house, so I'm holding back on starting them. By next week I should be able to set the transplant pots out during the day and bring them in at night. Imagine Bro's surprise when he goes to take a shower in the morning and sees the bathroom full of little plants!

I really have the gardening itch.

We're not planting too much. I'd like to grow more, but that would require a fenced in garden, so that has to wait for another year. I'm planting a few cucumbers and tomatoes(2) in the flower bed by the porch, growing some herbs and salad veggies in pots and a window box planter. And just to try something different, I'm going to plant some dill seeds around a small tree that'll get enough sun. I'm not sure if the critters will dine on my dill or not, but I just love fresh dill, so I'm taking the chance. As soon as it warms up a bit.....

Speaking of cold temperatures, this is canoe race weekend in my little river town. I surely don't envy those guys jumping in their canoes in 45 degree temperatures and paddling a course that goes 3 miles downstream, then turning around and paddling back(more water splashes up when you're going upstream).

It's a teeny tiny race compared to the Ausable River Canoe Marathon, but still fun to watch and a preview of the summer race season. We have a river festival weekend in June, so I don't know why they don't wait till then to do the race-it'd sure be warmer for the paddlers. Anyways....I'm going to the park to watch the start, but will have to leave for work before they return...bummer.

I'm happy to announce that spring cleaning for my clients is done-except for one closet. Yay! I've discovered some muscles that don't get much of a workout on a daily basis, reaching waaayyy back and up in those closets and cupboards has my shoulders aching and caused a few bumps on my head(the closet door was short-the shelves high and deep).

I haven't done much of my own cleaning yet, we just took the plastic off the windows, and I've got to wait for nicer weather so that I can set some things outside to clean the carpets. But...now that it's May, theoretically, I'll be getting started on those projects. Oh, and I've got to defrost the freezer(yuck!)

Well, I'm off to try some new(to me) ice cream. Haagen Dazs 5. Brown Sugar flavor. Just a pint, and I'm going to make it last for 3 dishes, but it was on sale and I just couldn't resist!

~Thanks For Stopping By~

MayDay, MayDay...

2009-05-01T07:54:00.002-04:00

...wait, let me brush the dust off first...

Happy MayDay! And for my pagan friends-Happy Beltane!

2 months. And truthfully, it seems much longer than that. It's not that I haven't been around. I have been. Reading, commenting once in a while, but just kind of hanging out on the fringes. Why? I'm not 100% sure of the reasons. There were days when I picked up my notepad and started entries...half a notepad full of partial pages that never made it this far. I even managed to start a few posts...just never hit the publish button.

And Now? What has prompted me to venture back to this venue of expression? A challenge. The challenge of writing 30 posts in 30 days. I'm calling it the 31/31 for the month of May. I wouldn't want to leave that last day out of the game.

So, let's get really crazy. I have 2 blogs here, I'll post an entry in both. Deep breath...I may as well jump in with both feet. I do know how to swim...maybe not in the ocean of the most prolific bloggers here, but in my own little pond-hell, it's over my head in the deepest parts. I've gotten out a fresh pad of paper, one of my favorite pens, and made room in my hectic(haha) schedule for writing time.

Wish me luck, I'm going to need it. And words, I'll need lots of words...*runs off to find dictionary and thesaurus*...

You can find me here and here: Walking In My Shoes, Honestly .

~Thanks For Stopping By~ especially since I've been gone so long.....

Revenge!

2009-02-22T15:53:00.002-05:00

Well, I must have really pissed Ole Man Winter off with my last entry. His payback? A huge regional snowstorm with wraparound lake effect aftershocks. Phfftt....

I was out at 5:30am shoveling his latest contribution to the landscape-8 inches of it. ;P

Why so early? Well, I was supposed to have 6:30am shift in a town 15 miles away, but the nice man at the County Sheriff's Office said "The snow plows aren't out yet, old 76 has not been cleared." "If you don't have 4 wheel drive, don't go."

Okay, good enough for me! I called the office, talked to one of the on-call staffers that live about 80 miles away(our agency covers the whole eastern half of the Lower Peninsula, with 3 offices) and she sounded kind of doubtful about my not going. But I explained to her how far it was, what the conditions were and that the area is a dead zone for cell coverage-an empty, desolate stretch of road. If I had gone off the road, I'd sit there till I could flag someone down.

I made that trip in the exact same kind of conditions last year. Once. The roads were so bad, that I didn't dare stop, or try to turn around. All I could do was keep going forward. White knuckle time.

I also missed a 3 hour afternoon shift today. Again, 15 miles from my house. I called the client and she said that she didn't know if her road had been plowed or not-she can't see it from the house. She's the only house back on this country dirt road-not a priority for the plows. So I offered to drive out there and see. Not only was her road not plowed, but the dirt road that it connects with-that I have to drive on to get to her road-wasn't plowed.

Again, I called the office, talked to the same on-call and explained the situation. I know she thinks I'm being some kind of slacker, and that she called the client as soon as I hung up. I also know the client would explain the whole situation.

So, I basically have the afternoon off. The shoveling is finished, I've relaxed a bit and now I'm going to do some reorganizing in my bedroom. I really need to thin out my book collection stacks, and shelves, and boxes. I know, that's alot of books, what can I say?

I am still optimistic about spring's arrival, I can't let this late winter weather beat me down!
So, bring it on, Ole Man.... (there's another snowstorm forecast for Thursday!) ;p

~Thanks For Stopping By~

Signs

2009-02-19T19:51:00.005-05:00

The other day, at my afternoon client's house, I was following the dog's path through the snow, laden with a bucket of sunflower seeds and the pole to latch the bird feeders for filling. Dodging Skye(the dog's name) bombs, planted haphazardly along the way, trying to keep from sinking into the soft snow on the sides , my head was down, I was concentrating on my progress. I reached the post the feeders hang from, set down my bucket, lifted the feeders down and filled them. Snow had been forecast for the next couple days and I wanted to make sure the "critters" had sustenance for the duration.

The chickadees sat in the branches of nearby pines, chirping their thanks and impatience at my fumbling attempts to rehang the filled feeders-or maybe they were laughing....I'm sure the squirrels weren't too far off and snickering, knowing that all the seeds that spilled out onto the ground were "Theirs"!

I picked up the pole and empty bucket and turned to follow the path back to the garage, when I spotted just the tiniest spot of green. Off to the left several feet from the path, a lone stem of a vinca vine-a (hearty)hardy perennial that flowers in the spring and then spreads as a ground cover the rest of the summer.

One stem, with maybe 5 leaves. Green, ready for the sun, green! Not the dusky dark green of a plant that has been buried under the snow all winter, frozen, bared by the latest thaw. But truly Green! The first sign I've seen that this long, cold, dark night of winter will truly soon be over. Just spring's little whisper that soon she will reappear.

I'm sure it must have snuck past Ole Man Winter's guard. He must have been garnering his strength for the storm to come over the next couple of days. Saving his breath to blow the cold snowflakes around to accumulate hither and yon, asserting his dominance over the landscape once again. He knows his days are numbered.

My eyes, having spyed that glimpse of change, began to search carefully for other subtle signs. I went back into the garage to refill the seeds for the feeders in front of the house, and I noticed the snow cover's edge receding ever so slightly away from the sidewall. I know that under it all the oregano is waiting patiently to begin it's climb out of dormancy to fragrant short bushes with delicate lavendar flowers and pungent leaves, perfect for that pasta sauce. In fact, there by the doorframe is a dry stem from last year with seeds just waiting to be shed and sprout into new plants to join the patch.

Following another dog track into the front yard to access the feeders there, I passed by the bare branches of the lilacs. Ah, but wait, they appear a bit heavier than usual. And there they are, the tiny buds at the end of the branches are beginning to swell just a bit. They're a long way from opening into the heartshaped leaves that form the umbrella of the lilac's shape, but it's time for them to start the process.

So, Ole Man, bring on that latest snowstorm, do your best. Spring has begun to prepare for her bursts of buds and greens that brighten from the palest tint of tiny leaves just beginning to open, splashing her colors about with abandon. The sun will join her growing brighter and warmer every day for just a few more minutes, equal in light and dark, just 4 short weeks from today!

Tonight, I sit here and think about the blustery conditions I drove through today, in wonder at the sunshine that increased the brightness of those snowflakes, sacrificing themselves on my windshield-that's lake effect snow for you-blizzards and blue skies at the same time. I shiver as the winds make the house groan ever so slightly, knowing that the wheel of the year turns so slowly, yet does continue-as in years past and will for years to come.

~Thanks For Stopping By~

The Big 5-0 !

2009-02-11T07:32:00.002-05:00

No, not a birthday, the temperatures yesterday!

It's been 3 and a half months since the last day above 50 degrees. It was a wonderful break and the snow depth has been reduced by half! Now I can see over the top of the snowbanks at the end of the driveway! There are patches of mud colored grass along the edges.

But don't be fooled, all you sufferers of Spring Fever, we're not done yet! Spring is 36 days away and that's really just about the equal light/dark cycle of the Equinox. It has nothing to do with the date that the snow stops, or the ground thaws(the frost is still 4 feet deep in the ground here). Here in the great 'Up North' there's usually more than a month after that, and spring blizzards can be brutal!

So if one more person calls me out on my realistic outlook, I swear I'm gonna hit them in the nose with a big fat snowball in April! ::sigh:: The sun and warm temperatures were a welcome change of pace, though.

I am a computer dummy! Okay, maybe novice is a more appropriate term. I got the printer down out of the closet to try to hook it up to the laptop. It's brand new, the old computer crashed before I could even begin to use the printer.

Bro and Potsey are doing their taxes on TurboTax(the program) and need to print out their pages. The deal was, Potsey was going to "help" me install it and make sure it worked properly. I brought it out of my room, and suddenly he had to leave. So with the barest of instructions on what to do, he's out the door and down the road. Yeah, thanks for that!

I read the instructions, put the CD in to download the installer, and set it all up. I try to run the test page and it comes out blank. After fumbling my way around the instructions for troubleshooting, I discover there is only the color ink cartridge in place. No black. And I think I may have ruined the color cartridge. ::sigh::

I can't afford the ink cartridges for it, so I'm just going to pack it back up and put it back on the closet shelf where it can rot for the next year. They can find another way to print their tax crap. All I wanted was help to install it properly.

My life remains quiet for the most part. And I'm grateful. I just don't seem to have much emotional or physical energy right now. I've just been spending time online and reading. The beads have been gathering dust for the last week or so. This is just some time to catch my breath and unwind a bit.

It's time to go get ready for work, so I'll sign off for now....

~Thanks For Stopping By~

Oh Kkay....

2009-01-31T09:34:00.003-05:00

K. That's my letter. The letter assigned to me by Betty (I think Koda was off surveying his domain).

Now, I'm to list 10 things I love that begin with the letter K. I don't know if I should list them from 1(being my favorite) to 10(last on the list), or if I should do it the other way around. So I'm adopting a randomness of order. Kind of just the order I thought of them in(I made a list).

1. Kraut-as in Sauer Kraut. This may actually "Be" my #1 favorite on the list, it's kind of a toss up.

2. Kittens-I was reminded of just how much this past fall, when the cat that hung around outside, had 3 and I got to cuddle them. I miss them, but am glad they found new homes.

3. Knitting-I learned how to knit when I was very young(5 or 6). My Mom taught me. Looking back on it now, I think I just went back and forth and when she checked it for mistakes, she'd knit a little and tell me how well I was doing. I did eventually get it right. I haven't gotten out my needles in quite a while......

4. Kisses-As in Hershey's Kisses. I love chocolate in many forms, but I think just plain, all by itself, is the best. Of course, I love other kinds of kisses, too, but I don't get many of those nowadays.

5. Kleenex Pompoms-Weird, I know. I was a Girl Scout and we always entered a float in local parades and made probably millions of them-grocery bags full.....

6. Kahlua-I hope I spelled this right. One of the reasons I love Kahlua so much is that it reminds me of a friend I spent time with in Ohio. We used to sip Kahlua and coffee for hours, contemplating life, and watching her girls and animals antics. Good times!

7. Kansas-Not the state, the band. You know, "Dust in the Wind", "Carry On Wayward Son", and many more that not everyone would recognize. They have their own playlist on my MP3 player!

8. Keilbasa-Which of course is the perfect complement for Kraut(see #1). In the oven, simmered for an hour with butter and caraway seeds.

9. Keleva, MI-I know this is a place that no one who reads this will have heard of. There's an interesting story to this. I have never actually been there and the place I really mean is a river bend a couple miles from there. See, my brother calls any form of cooked cabbage, sauer kraut tops that list, well, he calls it Toxic Waste. Relegates it to 55 gallon drums to be sunk to the bottom of the ocean. He goes on fishing trips to this particular river bend a couple times a year and that is when I get to have sauer kraut, or fried cabbage, or boiled dinner, to my heart's content. Hence the love of a place I've never been!

10. Kosher Dill Pickles-Last but certainly not least on this list. The crunchier and more garlic the better!

This list was harder to compile than I thought it would be. It took me a couple days to find things that start with K, that I love.

If you'd like to take on the challenge of this list meme, please leave me a comment and I'll draw a letter out of a hat for you. I'd omit Q, X, and Z. I was going to leave Y out, but I thought of several things that started with Y so thats not so hard! :) I'll e-mail you or leave you a comment with your letter.

~Thanks For Stopping By~

Oops, I Forgot...

2009-01-29T22:20:00.002-05:00

If you would like to do this meme, please feel free to request a letter in a comment here or in the last entry. I'll select a letter for your post(an easy one, I promise), and send you an e-mail or comment setting your task!

It'll be fun!

p.s. Q is out of the question, too. Told you it'd be easy!

In The Want Ads.

2009-01-29T21:49:00.002-05:00

Help Wanted: Seeking applicants for temporary volunteer positions as Muse. Muses-R-Us has several openings available for short term "employment" as an inspiration prompter. No prior experience necessary. Skills required: Ability to ask a question geared toward inspiring individual posts for clients whose Muses are MIA. Topic prompts other than question form are also welcome. Please submit application and sample question in comments section.

Perhaps this is just the shot of motivation needed when a Muse thinks to slack off, or take an extended holiday. Threaten to replace her!

This morning, I was struck with inspiration. Why it didn't occur to me before I composed my post last night, I don't know.

While my Muse saw fit to leave me to my own devices, I could certainly ask others for a tip, a topic-get by with a little help from my friends!

So here's the deal. This is your chance to ask me a question, or suggest a topic. Pretty much anything goes-except for politics, science, math, and fashion-those, I truly do know nothing about.

I have one entry to work on already. Betty and Koda participated in a meme where you are assigned a letter and then you write about 10 things that you love that begin with that letter. They invited their readers to play along so I commented that I would indeed like to play. She did mention that X, Y, and Z would not be selections. I have my letter and will begin working on this tonight.

In the meantime, please post your application and sample question for Muses-R-Us. All applicants will be seriously considered. Thank You! ::giggles::

~Thanks For Stopping By~

My Muse Has Left The Building....

2009-01-28T21:41:00.003-05:00

I do believe my creative Muse has taken a long winter vacation to some warm sunny beach. The bit@& didn't invite me along, didn't even tell me where she was going or how long I'll be without her guidance.

I'm just not getting the words right when I try to write a piece about the beauty of this season, it's there, I've seen it, but to describe it, to paint a picture with words? Not so much. I'll keep trying.

I have this vision of a bracelet, but putting it together last night, it just wasn't what I had in mind. I'll tear it apart and try again. I also have a necklace in mind, but to find just the right pendant has been an exercise in frustration. I'll keep looking.

I hope she comes home soon!

Granted it's been a long tough winter, so cold that the frost is 3 ft. down in the ground. Our village has asked us to keep our water running-at least a pencil sized stream-to prevent the lines from freezing and bursting. There have been a few signs that some already have. We have a reprieve from the bitter cold for a few days, we may even hit 32 by the weekend, then back to the fun. At least my car is running okay-starting every day.

Other than that, life is generally quiet and uninteresting. That may be a good thing....

Son is back in classes, is happy and overwhelmed with all the reading he has to do this term. He mentioned a book he'd like to read, so just to add to the pressure, I'm sending it to him for his birthday in April(don't worry, he's too busy to read here)!

Work has remained steady, no sudden changes in schedule, or really short weeks. I could use another 5 or 6 hours a week($$$), but I'm doing okay.

I've been toying with the idea of putting in a garden, some veggies and herbs, but I would have to put up some sort of fencing to keep the deer from eating more than their fair share-which would be none! I'll have to give this some more consideration.

So, while I (im)patiently await the return of my muse that's about it for now. And as always....

~Thanks For Stopping By~

And On A Cold January Day....

2009-01-17T10:38:00.002-05:00

Sitting at the kitchen table this morning, jumping around the internet, reading here and there, playing with journal colors and gadgets....I thought well, I should try to add a hit counter to my Journal.

I've had trouble with it before, kept getting messages that I'd failed, having no idea what I was doing, or how to do it differently. I gave up. Was being all philosophical, saying "well, this is for me and how many others visit won't matter to me." Phfft... right. It does matter to me.

So this morning I tried one more time and guess what? Whatever it was I did actually worked this time. Could I do it again? Nope....don't care, it's there now. I will guard it closely, protecting it from deletion to the best of my ability. I hope.....

I'm sitting here hoping that when I muster up the fortitude to get dressed and go outside(we're up to single digits this morning) to start my car, that She will feel like starting this morning.

Day before yesterday, she sat there and moaned at me when I turned the key. Honey, I don't blame you-I wouldn't be out here doing this to you in the cold if I didn't have to go to work.

::sigh:: Back into the house, where my brother was waiting to see if his services and that of the B&D Power Station were needed. Yep, into the Carharts, and with power station and jumper cables in hand, out we went to get her started. Just one little problem...the hood latch release, which is inside the car was frozen. The cable that runs from the release to the hood latch was embedded in ice, not going to move. Options-tow her to the $machanic$ and wait for her to thaw out(I don't think so) or find a torpedo heater to blow the ice off the release cable and pop the hood so that she can be jumped. We located a heater, and off I went in my brother's vehicle to work.

He worked on her yesterday, and she was okay, but has been out there through another cold night. It's almost time for me to head out into the cold and snow(yeah, it's snowing again). We're under a winter storm warning, with 4-8 inches of snow with blowing and drifting predicted. ::sigh:: Okay, whining done for now.

Bro's making a big batch of bean soup today and when I come home from work, I'll be making some cornbread. A yummy way to warm up. That and all the hot chocolate I can drink.

Time to brave the elements. Stay warm, and enjoy your day...

~Thanks For Stopping By~

2009-01-16T19:59:00.002-05:00

She came upon the meadow quite by chance. Her eyes searching for the beautiful butterfly she'd been following, that now seemed to have disappeared. She set her gathering basket down and stepped from the edge of the woods, a hesitant 10 yards or so into the open. She turned back, looking at the tree line, then slowly, drinking in all her eyes could behold, turned in circles, once, twice, thrice.

She felt the sun warmed grass between her toes, her skirt settling softly against her bare legs. Puzzled, she looked down her body at the Monetesque floral patterns on her dress, the brightly painted nails and toe rings on her feet, and wondered what magic had transformed her jeans and hiking boots into this faeries' dancing attire.

Just the faintest hint of sound caught her ear. The delicate notes of a songbird-or was that a flute's soft melody? She raised her head and spotted a path amidst the banks of wildflowers swaying quietly on the warm breeeze. Her curoisity beckoned her forward along that green carpet to an opening, a circle, it's border marked with colorful stones, some glittering with bits of mica-or magic.

The music on the breeze invited her to dance, twirling, raising her arms to the sky and sun. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a movement, yet when she turned her head, she saw only the flowers and stone circle. As her dance continued, more and more flickers of "something" would catch her eye, yet be nothing when she looked. Ah... the faeries had joined her for this summers day celebration.

As the music slowed and faded, she sat down to rest and just enjoy the view. She leaned back against one of the stones to gaze at the sky. Her eyelids grew heavy, she blinked and yawned.....

Wtih a start, she sat up on the sofa, the quilt that kept the winter's chill away while she'd napped fell to the floor. The bright bits of colorful patterns in the patchwork design brought the dress, the dance, the dream to her conscious thoughts. A toe ring twinkled in the afternoon light.

Dream? No, she'd danced with faeries in a magical ring on a glorious summer's day.

~Thanks For Stopping By~

Weather I like it or not!

2009-01-12T05:42:00.002-05:00

Nope, not a typo.

We're headed for the deep freeze. Today will be a balmy 20 degrees, with light snow. Then tonight an Alberta Clipper moves in with all the requisite weather conditions-dropping temps, lake effect snows, and winds that take the windchill factor down into the -20's.

I am so ready for the January thaw! If we get one. This winter has been a rough one and I'm ready for spring. How can I get out and go walking when it hurts to breathe, when it takes 15 minutes just to get all my winter gear on?(okay, maybe an exaggeration, but not much) I'd like to explore the trails around the neighborhood(the snowmobiles pack it down enough to walk on), but not this week.

Winter is a beautiful season, snow hanging on the bare tree branches, the hushed sighing of the pines in a light wind. The chickadees, nuthatches and woodpeckers that fly to and from the feeders, with zeal, for the goodies hidden in suet. The squirrels hanging out beneath for any tidbits dropped. Then there's the sky. Well, when it's blue and not that pregnant gray, foretelling another snowfall. There's a special kind of hue that a sunny winter sky takes on that is beyond words. THAT's what I'm looking for!

The necklaces are finished and have been delivered. They're both a big hit. I'd have liked a different shade for some of the beads-more of a smoky gray than black, but my resources were limited with time restrictions. These are the most expensive necklaces I've ever made. I charged enough to recoup my costs for all the beads and pendants, which is just fine with me. I'm not really looking to make this a "business", too much pressure to produce. It's a hobby that I enjoy, selling some is a way to cover my costs. And in the process, spark my creativity. I've even toyed with the idea of creating some pendants of my own-made out of different clays, like fimo. Maybe some painted ones. It's all fun!!!

I've got a long To Do List for this week. Laundry to catch up, work in my bedroom(which still isn't done), some personal studies in a couple of books I found online, and just the general stuff that falls through the cracks when you're busy and not looking.

I'm off to find something warm to wear for the next week, have a great Monday-and....

~Thanks For Stopping By~

All Hail Zicam!

2009-01-06T22:12:00.002-05:00

*giggles*

Nope, not a captcha! An amazing cold remedy!

Yeah, the Lysol didn't work so well. Thursday night I started getting that dry feeling in the back of my throat, so Friday morning I headed to the drug store and picked up some Zicam. It's a homeopathic cold remedy that works really well. It reduces the symptoms and the duration of a cold. Really! My only problem now is irritation from washing my hands so much. Bring on the cocoa butter cream!

I'm so happy that things are getting back to normal. Now that the holidays are behind us, aides are back from their mini-vacations, I know where I'm going to be on what day and what time. I can get to the laundrymat and post office, and the left-over holiday snacks are almost gone! Except for the shrimp, it was on sale so I actually bought an extra bag-I love shrimp cocktail!

I am about to become an international bead artist! Okay, maybe not quite that dramatic. The daughter of a client wants me to make necklaces for her daughter-in-law and her(the dil's) sister. Now for the international part-they live in China! Two of my necklaces will be on the other side of the globe in a couple weeks. That's kind of exciting...okay, really exciting! I've got the designs worked out and will be putting the necklaces together tomorrow night. They'll be versatile office-to-casual with some unique pendants that I found at the craft store. Of course, I found a pendant for myself and can incorporate some of the leftover beads from one of the necklaces, for mine. I'm my own best advertisement....after all.....

I've moved further into current trends. One of my clients gave me a generous holiday gift with specific instructions to spend it on something for myself-so I bought an MP3 player. I've figured out how to load music from my laptop's library and have a code for 50 free downloads from e-music, so I'll be learning how to do that next!

I could talk about the weather, but it hasn't changed in the last couple months. 2 or 3 snow systems a week. ;p I've decided to build a snowman on top of the groundhogs den, that way he won't see his shadow and this will all be over sooner. At least it's starting to stay light past 5 in the afternoon, now.

Well, that's my latest news, and it's time to go read in a trashy historical romance before sleep....

~Thanks For Stopping By~

Zampe Susempu!

2009-01-01T08:55:00.003-05:00

In capcha that translates to:

Happy New Year Everyone!

My wish for you is a year of wonderful possibilities.

I've found some of the word verifications to be quite linguistic! What better way to grab the attention of readers who haven't heard much from me in the past 6 weeks.

It's been a time of trial and tribulations at home and work. More stress than I'm used to, and I wasn't handling it very well. Ways to express it without whining escaped me, and the best solution was to pause in my writing and just "get through it".

No, things haven't magically resolved themselves, but there is such hope with the start of a new year, looking more toward the future than the past or present....

Looking at things from a more practical angle, concentrating on today rather than obsessing on the ever unpredictable future is a resolution I've taken to heart. There are things that I cannot change, things that I can modify and ease to a reasonable extent, things that will be tossed out the door as useless in the grand scheme of my life right now.

Concentrating on my needs(intellectual, emotional, and spiritual) at this time in my life is top priority, keeping that practical theme in mind, living the way I mean for my life to evolve. If I'm going to grow into the person I can picture, I've got to begin as I mean to go on.

The passing of the season of *sometimes* unrealistic expectations-and by that I mean the way I wish things were-getting down to the nitty gritty of getting through the rest of the winter season and the hope of increasing light on a daily basis, are my guiding principles. Living to my best ability in the choices I've made.

My New Year's Eve was a fairly quiet evening at home, watching VH-1's "Top 100 Hard Rock Songs", and sipping on some Hot Damn(Cinnamon Schnapps) and Butter Shots(Butterscotch Schnapps). I say fairly quiet because the stereo speakers can "crank the volume"! Bro has a bad cold, so the Lysol was close at hand. Son was out of town at a celebration, so we shared our New Year's wishes earlier. I snacked on heart-attack popcorn and shrimp cocktail and watched a year that I wasn't pleased with slip quietly into memory! Yeah for that!

There are-of course-other things I want to work on during the next year. I'll be writing more in both my journals, chronicaling my thoughts and the living of my life. When I struggle with those words, I feel a loss of connection with myself.

So, with a brand new year and all its possibilities in front of me.....

~Thanks For Stopping By~

Season's Greetings!

2008-12-14T08:06:00.003-05:00

Short and simple.

This entry is just my wish for all of you to have a wonderful holiday season.

I just can't find the enthusiasm, the joy, this year.

A young friend came up to me in the grocery store last night, needing a hug and some encouragement. I just didn't have it in me, to help, to just be there for him, to even wish him good holidays. I was ashamed after he walked away and tried to find him, but he had already left. It haunts me, makes me feel terrible-that I was so immersed in my own misery that I couldn't extend a hand and attention to someone else.

While I'll be around, reading, I just don't have it in me right now to comment or write. Not even in "Walking In My Shoes, Honestly".

See ya later, Leigh

Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-11-26T20:03:00.002-05:00

I hope everyone has a bellystuffing great time tomorrow!

Short entry tonight, I've got a couple long shifts coming up over the next 2 days, so I won't be around much. It will certainly help out $$$ !!!

Are you ready to hit the stores for the "Black Friday" madness? Nah, not me! I only ever entered the madness once. They had a really good deal on comforters, and I just barely survived......

We got hit with 8" of snow on Monday. Heavy, wet thunder-snow. We lost power for 5 hours, sitting around the kitchen with candles for light, wrapped up in a comforter with the oven on for a little heat. It was beautiful though, the trees so heavy with snow, the branches hanging all the way to the ground.

Like I said, a short entry tonight, I've got a few things to take care of tonight and need a good night's sleep. So....

~Thanks For Stopping By~

Mother Nature Knows Best

2008-11-17T10:43:00.004-05:00

::sigh:: She's donned her winter coat. What was a panorama of deep fall colors has turned into a vista of white. Beautiful to be sure, but cold-hearted for not waiting for me to be prepared.

I've found myself fighting to hang on to the end of each preceeding season. Wanting that last walk on the beach, wearing my capri length pants on days when the thermometer dips below comfortable for bared lower legs.

Yesterday, I finally took my summer gear out of the car. The beach blanket, towel, air mattress and extra set of shorts and top are now residing indoors. It was actually laziness on my part rather than the notion that there would be any more need for those items, that left them in my trunk for so long. The winter gear is finding it's way in to replace them.

I've taken the notion to rearrange my room, create some needed space for spending more time in here. I've got items that will need to be moved to my storage unit, boxes to rearrange in the closet, winter sheets and blankets out to replace the lighter ones. This may take a couple weeks as I change my mind 10 times on what should go where, lament on giving up things that I no longer use, and just generally procrastinate. But when I'm done, my room will be welcoming and cozy.

The general air in the house is chilly-attitude and temperature-wise. It's just going to be a long cold winter. I've done or said something, not done or said something, that has my brother keeping his distance and silence. It could be any number of things, and I'm not inclined to start a discussion that blows into argument proportions, just to remind him that I'm not psychic, have no idea what the problem is. It will be interesting to say the least as the months progress. Believe me, it's best this way.

I miss the cat and her kittens. I pull in from work and look at the empty porch area where they hung out, and miss the few minutes of greeting they gave me. I know that as long as I live here, there will be no pet. Period. That saddens me.

I've picked up a client that will bring an extra 6 hours of work a week. Still not up to full time, but an improvement. I'll still have part-time unemployment to make up the difference, so I'm okay(not great) financially. The gas prices hovering around $2 a gallon make it a little easier to get from week to week.

Well, I'm off to move some boxes, so have a great day, and for my readers in the north-bundle up!

~Thanks For Stopping By~

Update on the Mama Cat and Babies!

2008-11-05T22:14:00.002-05:00

The backyard neighbor is over visiting tonight. The cat and her kittens were mentioned.
"Oh, my next door neighbor took them to the shelter" It turns out that the cat actually originally belonged to the neighbor on the other side of her-2 houses down from backyard neighbor. When she found out about the cat and kittens, she came over, got them and had them in her shed for 2 days then took them to the shelter and turned the neighbor(original owner) in to animal control. This woman also has 5 other cats that she just lets run around.
Backyard neighbor knew that I thought they were missing, or dead. She was here the day after they had come up missing. "I forgot to tell you." Phffftttt...30 seconds, a quick phone message...

I am So relieved! I felt so badly. I am grateful that they will now be taken care of, our shelter is a no kill shelter. I'll have to take the cat food and some other donation things over to them. I used to go volunteer occasionally, but they moved to the other end of the county and with gas prices the way they were, I hadn't been in awhile.

It was such a gorgeous afternoon, really windy on the north side of the lake, so I drove to the southwest side-to a little public park. I watched the ducks, so cute, with their feathery butts up in the air as they fished for their lunch. I could see the last of the fall colors in the hills across the lake. Sitting there it was difficult to imagine(or look forward to) the snow that's in the forecast for this weekend. This afternoon may have been my last lake fix for this year. But who knows, 3 years ago I was walking on the beach(shoes on) in a sweatshirt and jeans on Dec. 24th, a sunny 50 degree afternoon. That's Michigan weather for you. *insert smiley face here*

~Thanks For Stopping By~

It's a Beautiful Day

2008-11-05T08:59:00.006-05:00

Actually, the last one for the next 7 days. I'm going to do what I can to enjoy it. I need to take today for myself, go to the lake, sit on the shore and let the sound of the waves soothe me, calm me.

I've been feeling very unsettled the last couple of days. Weighing the pros and cons of some decisions I'm trying to make. Not coming up with the right answers. Let me rephrase that-viable answers for myself at this time. I've had to choose the route that is most sensible for me at this time, and I'm just not ready to accept that, so I keep rationalizing, and coming up with more frustration, but still the "safe" answer-for now. And I know it.

Confused yet? This is all tied to the entry I made in ~Walking In My Shoes, Honestly~ the other night. I'm frustrated with money-the lack thereof, the limited choices I have at this time, and my inability to change anything-right now!

When you build a house, you have to start with the foundation, make it sturdy, water-proof, straight and strong. Then move on to the walls and roof. When you create a quilt, you have to make sure all the pieces fit together, or you'll have gaps, you have to sew each individual piece into place to make the whole. There are no shortcuts. I've got to build up that foundation, make sure all the pieces fit before I do anything else.

For me-at this time-the decision has to be to stay in this situation, do what I can to get things done right before I leave. Financially, I can't do much of anything until I take care of the car-no car, no job, at least not the one I have now. And there are no other jobs out there, right now. Michigan has the highest unemployment rate in the nation. The car tune-up and repairs are only a couple hundred dollars, and a necessity.

I don't have the money for a security deposit for an apartment. That's an important factor. The studio apartment I was considering has been rented(the day I wrote the entry, in fact). The motel apartments are now full. It really isn't a bad place, the woman that owns it is careful of who she rents to. Anyway with those options out of the picture, I'm left with looking for an apartment or just staying here. So, for now, I'm staying here. I'll keep my eyes open for places to rent, do what I need to do, and try to make the situation here more equal. How? Well, that's something else I have to work on.

I WILL look at this in a positive way, work all these details out and be thankful I have what I do. So....

~Thanks For Stopping By~

No sign of the cat or her kittens yet-I hope you guys are right.

More Sadness...

2008-11-02T01:40:00.002-04:00

I should be in bed. Even with the time change it's going on 1 am. I've just got a few things on my mind before I turn in, though.

I posted an entry over at ~Walking In My Shoes, Honestly~. Some things that have been going on, yet I've managed to hide from them fairly well. Not some of my more proud moments.

The mother cat and kittens have disappeared. They've been gone several days. I have no idea what actually happened, no one admits to knowing, either. The area we live in is right across the street from the woods. Real forest, with all the requisite animal predators. There was nothing I could do, I was forbidden from bringing them into the house-aside from the no pets without permission and deposit rule.

Nephew's girlfriend came over with a bag of cat food yesterday, she had no idea they were gone. I'm sorry to admit, I was not very pleasant about the way I informed her. Told her she should have kept her word about finding them homes, or sheltering them.

I really couldn't afford to do it. I feel so inadequate and guilty.

Remember, I said I knew things were going to be difficult in my post on the 17th? I just didn't figure it would be so soon.

Now that I've gotten things out of my head and into words, it's time for some planning and doing, to head in a better direction...And for turing the clock back and going to bed.

~Thanks For Stopping By~

Sad Good-bye

2008-10-29T11:35:00.003-04:00

I've said my good-byes over at I Was Thinking... .

Call me strange, but at midnight on the 31st, I'm going over to watch the final seconds tick by...

I have some life changing memories from there that will always stay with me!

~Thanks For Stopping By~

Meme, Meme, Meme....

2008-10-20T23:24:00.002-04:00

Okay, just one for right now. A short one.

Name the seven place you go most frequently each week and list the distances from your door.
1. My most frequent client- 15.1 miles one way. 7 days a week.
2. Second-most frequent client- .9 miles one way. 3 days a week.
3. Post Office-1.2 miles one way. 5-6 times a week.
4. Glen's Market-the local grocery store-.8 miles one way. Once or twice a week.
5. Houghton Lake-for the major bi-weekly shopping- 20-26 miles one way(depending on what stores I hit).
6. St Vincent DePaul, the thrift store- .7 miles one way. 1-2 times a week.
7. The State Park at the lake-8.7 miles one way. Not so much now, but 4-5 times a week in the summer. The bonus is that it's between here and #1.

Yeah, I do alot of driving, so I'm very happy to see that gas prices are finally down to $2.99 today. The state average is at $2.81, and the national average is lower than that, but I can't remember what it was, right now.
The kittens are getting rambunctious. Chasing each other, growling over the food dishes, and following me to the car, when I leave the house. They're scared of the noise my car makes, so they go running back to the porch as soon as I start it. Tonight 2 of them came running out to greet me when I got home from work. How sweet. ::sigh::
I'm in the mood for soups, and chili. I made some corn chowder over the weekend that turned out really good. That got me thinking about what adaptations I could make, corn and peas with bacon chowder, winter vegetables(broccoli, cauliflower, and brussels sprouts) with smoked sausage chowder, all with potatoes, onions and mushrooms. And potatoes are on sale this week-15lbs. of russets for $3.99! I need a bigger freezer. Or guests!
Well, I'm on battery and it's about out of power, so I'll say good night and...

~Thanks For Stopping By~

Where else?

2008-10-19T14:29:00.002-04:00

Where else but here? Whether it's our new home, or back in the old digs, where else can you find such diversity brought together. (Dannelle, I got this idea after reading your entry, hope you don't mind)
What does this mean to me? It means that I can say, "Well, you know, I have a friend in (fill in the blank) that had 110 degrees today." Or think to myself, I've met so many people that have broadened my horizons, inspired me to write, improve my vocabulary, THINK about things from more than just the perspective of the confines of my insular, small town life. I've come to realize that there are so many things in life that I know so little about. It ignites the fire-the desire- to learn, study, dream.
If there had been a place like this 35 years ago, that I could have been a part of, I may have had the inspiration to be more than, or at least something different than what I am today. Who knows?
I do know that I seem to be in a place in my life where I want to learn more. I know that the knowledge is just for my thirst for learning, more than anything else. Just for me.
Bro gave me a birthday card-the message outside-Have a "cat" kind of birthday. The message inside-Do anything you damn well please. His message-You do anyway! Well, he's right, I do.
I'm 53, have memory retention problems, can read something and forget it by the next day. But I keep reading, keep trying to learn. I think small portions of it stay with me, and if I keep at it, eventually I'll remember most all of it. And I'm doing it all to please "me".
And where else but here, can I read small town news, global problems, thoughts on politics, all about the grandkids, anniversaries, weather from east to west, north to south, all from the personal views of the writers here.
For what could be termed a small community-we certainly are global.
Where else?
Just some thoughts floating through my mind while I'm sitting here waiting for the potatoes to cook, for the corn chowder and corn bread/muffins dinner tonight.

~Thanks For Stopping by~

As I venture into the future~

2008-10-17T01:00:00.002-04:00

As birthdays go, today was kinda quiet. But it was a good day.
I had 2 short shifts: 10-12 and 4-7.
I came home to a birthday dinner of Baked Rainbow Trout, hash browns, and biscuits. Courtesy of Bro. For his birthday a couple weeks ago, I made a roast and brownies for him.
The backyard neighbor joined us. She's been behaving lately.
Dessert was homemade popcorn with real butter and salt, which I made, cuz I make it better than Bro. Yum. I've been talking about making popcorn for about a week!
They're watching movies, and I'm here, and now it's tomorrow!
I talked to Son last night(well, Wed. night), he had classes all day today(yesterday) and wanted to wish me Happy Birthday and apologize for my gift being late-today(Friday) maybe.
And that's about it for the celebrating.
On birthdays, don't we all reflect on the last year, envision everything we want to do and accomplish for ourselves over the next? Well, I'm no exception.
I just have a good feeling about my life for the next year. I don't doubt that there will be some struggles and hard times, but I believe that I'll weather them just fine.
I expect it will be a long winter, but I'm ready. I think this is the year of enlightenment for me. I'm going to take the time to do some things for "me". Come spring, I'll be ready to have some adventures, camp, kayak, go places and spend time at the beach(of course).
Whether it's your birthday or just Friday, think about it. What do you want for yourself in the next year?
~Thanks For Stopping By~

How about a quickie

2008-10-17T00:37:00.002-04:00

Okay, not like that.....

Just a quick note that Magic Smoke is Here!

http://jlandhub.blogspot.com/

Stop by there and pass the word on.

Thanks!

Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming!

Reflections

2008-10-15T22:56:00.002-04:00

It was October 16th, 1955, 1:05am. In the community hospital, in a small northern Michigan town, life has just changed for one young woman. And a new life has just begun. A connection has been created, a bond that reaches past the depths of time.
For the young mother, the time with her brand new daughter will be short. Only 12 years. It will, however be enough to teach the fundamentals of life. Compassion, kindness, love, respect and honesty. She'll share things, teach her daughter how to craft a scarf out of a ball of yarn, sew on a button, how to make crispy pickles, blueberry jam, and how to put love in everything she does.
The ravages of cancer and the treatments they tried, to cure it, will end the physical bond. But the love, the eternal bond between mother and daughter will reach past the boundaries of time and place.
The daughter will grow up, stumble and fall, pick herself back up, make mistakes, and move on with her life, live by the standards taught to her in that short time. Or try her best to.
Every year, on this date, the bond feels the strongest. The memories, the image, the essense of that mother-daughter relationship lives on. The basic foundation of the lessons taught so long ago, still lives deep within her heart.
Every year on this date, the daughter remembers the dignity, inner strength, the will to live a good life, the love. The shining example of how to be.... And every year she misses her mother so much.
On this date-October 16th, 2008, I wish to honor the memory of the woman who in those 12 short years, built a foundation that remained steady and strong beneath my feet, in my heart. Honor the woman who was not perfect by any means, yet through the mists of long ago memory, left an indelible impression. And for that, I will be forever grateful.
I may not have had her guidance through some of the hardest years of my life, but I had that foundation she built, a foundation that saved my life, my sanity, my heart, gave me hope.
The least I can do is live a life that shows the compassion, integrity and love that she taught. To be the kind of woman she would be proud of.
Today, Mom, I send you love. I dedicate this entry to you. Thank you for all you were.

There is no stone to mark your passing,
To show the world you were here.
There is only the legacy of love,
carved deep in our hearts.
The memories of years.
And that is enough.

For Barbara Jean

So far, so good.

2008-10-15T08:55:00.002-04:00

This entry is one of those that fall in the 'day to day' category.
Monday felt kind of wasted to me, I couldn't seem to focus on much of anything for any length of time. It was just a "day". I hate that.
The highlight was watching a little of the Monday Night Football game between the Giants and the Browns. I've been a football fan since I was a little girl, watching the Lions with my daddy. When I moved to Ohio, I became a Browns fan as well as a Lions fan. Can you be a true fan of more than one team? I'd like to think so. I try to be, and can carry it off until they face each other. Then, I'm just torn, I want both my teams to win, and well, that's just crazy! Thankfully, they don't play against each other very often. I don't get to watch as much football as I'd like, but I try to keep up. But then again, this year(and several of the past), the Lions just plain SUCK! I'm hoping for better seasons in the near future.
Yesterday was a good day. It was beautifully sunny, with an autumn chill in the air. I had a client from 10-12, then headed out for the licenses and shopping, finishing up my outing with my 4-7 shift.
I do have one question. Why? Oh Why, do driver's license photos "have " to look so bad? I vowed this year would be different, this year I'd look more like a person who isn't posing for a police lineup. I signed the forms, passed the eye test, stepped behind the tape line on the floor and composed my face into a pleasant little smile. The clerk told me to look at the little flower picture taped just below the camera lens, and then began to fiddle with something, taking forever to snap the picture. I began to go a little cross-eyed, felt my brows begin to slide down into a squint and then all of a sudden she says "smile". My concentration was broken, I looked up and started to open my mouth and the flash went off. OH NO! Not another 4 years of "the worst picture of me, ever". I'm not looking forward to getting the result in the mail in 2 weeks. ::sigh::
I stopped at a dollar store, and found a nice little daily planner(actually, I bought 2) that will let me write in larger than microscopic scrawls. The plan is to start writing down my efforts to get organized, and this had a page a day format, is small enough to fit in my bag. I've carried one of those that display a week over 2 pages, and there was never enough room to fit what I needed to in those little spaces. It's undated, so I started it with yesterday's date, and will work on filling in the rest today. I Will use it every day, and take Katie's suggestion to place it by the coffeemaker, so it's one of the first things I see in the morning. I just have to remember to carry it with me when I leave the house. :) Thanks Katie!
I finished the shopping, picking up a few items for Bro and my afternoon client, had a "bad for you, but yummy" lunch, and went to my afternoon client. They gave me a sweet little birthday card(it's Thursday) and we spent more time chatting than working. That is an integral part of my job. Many of my clients don't see anyone but me for days at a time. And I do so enjoy it. There's just something about hearing about other peoples lives, their memories, that intrigues me. If I'd had my sh#& together when I graduated high school, I'd be an anthropologist now.
Oh, and gas prices are falling fast. I paid $3.05 a gallon. Yippee. That eases the burden my transportation to work puts on my puny little paycheck.
I sent Son an e-mail about Grandmother, couldn't get him on the phone. I also listened to some music with Bro, who really loves his music, and is very knowledgable. He's frustrated about the layoff happening so early this year, and needed some distraction, so I got the lowdown on Tool. A very productive day-Yay for me!
Today, I'm just spending some time online, catching up with journals, filling out my new little planner, and just taking it kind of easy till work at 4. At least that's the plan! ;)

~Thanks For Stopping By~

Well, Happy Columbus Day-sort of!

2008-10-13T11:16:00.001-04:00

Phffttt.....
I had plans for today, things I needed to do that will have to wait till tomorrow, and Wednesday. ::sigh::
I completely forgot about the holiday, had planned to go take care of errands today-only have one 4-7 shift. I was proud of myself for setting up all this so that I have time this week for other activities.
I'm usually a very disorganized "last minute lucy" when it comes to things like bill paying, laundry, or things with any kind of deadline. I have my auto insurance set up to automatically come out of my checking account on time, have my pay direct deposited, just to make things easier, but if I have to do it myself, it gets put off or sometimes even forgotten till the last minute or even late.
So here I am with all this time today, but no money, it's not technically deposited till business tomorrow. I can't go do the laundry, get my license plates and renew my drivers license, pay my storage unit(which was due yesterday, but they were closed), get groceries, or take that scenic drive to my afternoon client. ::heavier sigh::
I started a private blog for the catch-all stuff, entry ideas, rough drafts, and reminders to myself. I've been checking out some of the gadgets, trying them on that journal. There's some really neat things there.
I'm still trying to figure out how to add a hit counter, it keeps saying there are illegal symbols in the URL and rejecting my attempts. I must be missing something, some step, or click. Maybe later.
I'm gonna go catch up on reading journals, and have to send an e-mail to Son. I got a letter from his grandmother(ex-MIL) asking me for his new phone number and address. He'll have to take care of that himself. I'm not wasting postage on the woman.(I still resent the way I was treated by her) Anyways, I'll be back later....

~Thanks For Stopping By~

Look, that's me!

2008-10-11T09:35:00.002-04:00

Well, the short one on the right. The tall one on the left is my handsome Son.
I've got to thank my nephew, Potsey for helping me with this. Something else I need to learn how to do!
Now for the hit counter.
:) Leigh

The Invasion!

2008-10-11T08:04:00.003-04:00

The weather forecast is for perfect Indian Summer days this weekend! Yay! The leaves are almost at peak for color change, high temps in the low to mid 70's. I'll be headed outside to enjoy it, maybe get a (skip the rest of this sentence, camera pros) disposable camera and take some pictures. (Son cringes when I use those words)
Our yard has been invaded-by bouncing, running, jumping, inquisitive kittens. They're 6 weeks old now, and their little legs are strong and almost sure as they scamper all over the place. And I do mean ALL over the place. I've fished one out from behind the trash bin(the box we have to put the trash bags in, to keep animals out), coaxed the boys out from under my car, so that I could leave for work, and cleaned up spilled cat food more times than I care to count.
They're starting to eat the dry food we put out for Mom and haven't learned that "all you have to do is put your head in the bowl", yes, I've been telling them that. A flat tray with a big rock in the middle has cured the problem for now. They sure are cute, though.
Speaking of Son, I've IM'd a few times with him this last week. He's doing well in school, except for the life drawing class. He's got some habits and techniques to change and is "just doing so-so." I pointed out to him that he's been drawing that way for almost 20 years, be patient and don't get discouraged.
I've been working on adding the hit counter. The gadget window kept telling me there was illegal code in the URL. ::sigh:: I gave up last night and will try again tonight. I'm going to find a course "for dummies" for one of my winter projects. I'm tired of just stumbling around.
The economy woes are invading our house. Bro got laid off yesterday, a whole 6 weeks early. He works for an excavation company and the housing market disaster has hit the building industry hard in our area.
::Heavy sigh:: Now I'll have him underfoot at home. I enjoy my quiet, private time during the day when he's at work. I'll have to encourage him to go hunting or fishing or something. JUST GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!
I'm heading out to enjoy the weather, hope you all have a great weekend! And as always...

~Thanks For Stopping By~

Tech-Dummy Question-

2008-10-10T10:24:00.000-04:00

How do I add a hit counter to my blog, where do I find one? All help is greatly appreciated!
:) Leigh

Oh, I forgot...

2008-10-10T09:23:00.000-04:00

~Walking In My Shoes, Honestly~ is here! lol I'm so scatter-brained right now.

Moving Day

2008-10-10T07:17:00.000-04:00

It's kinda funny, just think about it for a minute(I mean me-think). Moving has been the impetus for 2 of the 3 blogs I have. (In a roundabout way all three)
I started "I Was Thinking..." when we were getting ready to move. With all the details, hitches, physical labor, and mental thought processes involved, wanting to start a public journal, this was my material for the beginnings of my first venture into being a blog-author.
Then came "~Walking In My Shoes, Honestly~". Another move, but a more internal move into creating a healthier self-perspective. Sharing my thought processes and progress with all the wonderful friends I've made over the last year or so.
"My Thoughts, Honestly" was created as a result of the news that AOL Journals was closing it's doors. I AM ADDICTED TO JOURNALS! Not just necessarily mine-but the concept in general. So there had to be a new outlet created. And in those early days I wasn't really sure what I was going to do about moving the others over to our new home, so a third journal was born.
Here I am now, with all my journals safely tucked into one host. I've been one of the fortunate ones. My journals moved without a hitch. I didn't have to change the names, just added "The Memories" to "I Was Thinking..." to mark it as an archived journal. And who knows, I may add entries to it from time to time, we'll see.
I have yet to decorate, fiddle with colors, add the "stuff", and add them to my reading list, but the passport's been stamped, the boxes are all over the place, and I'll work on settling in and start living here.
I have to go back and clean out the old places, spend a few minutes in contemplation of what they have meant to me, and say good-bye. It seems there are always endings associated with beginnings. The optimism of the new start, tinted with the melancholy of heart for what has ended.
I was going to delete everything, cut the ties myself, rather than just let AOL send my writing into oblivion. Then another journaller(Dan, from Slapions) wrote an entry on the movie "Titanic" and I rethought my decision. I'll craft a good-bye entry for both public journals, delete the private one that I used for a clearinghouse of thoughts, and go down with the ship. I'll be right there with the orchestra that stood ondeck and played their instruments to the bitter end. I've got my lifejacket on and we already know that I'll be rescued-I'm here, aren't I? I know, corny, but it's early and my mind is wandering into the fanciful.
I've been gathering some inspiration, making notes for new entries, the whole of it on hold, till I knew I'd arrive with all my past glorys(is that right?) safely delivered. I'll have to remember to tip the delivery guys-they did a pretty good job, nothing was lost.
Now, I think I'll go fiddle with the colors(I love painting) and "stuff", add my journals to my "I'm reading" list and make myself at home.

~Thanks For Stopping By~

2008-10-06T14:53:00.000-04:00

Another successful computer lesson for me! Well, sort of.
I saved my journals to a word processing program. I didn't try to separate it by pages, just copied whole sections at a time. I may go back a fiddle with it later, try to separate by entry, and add comments. Even if I have to type them in myself. That, to me is one of the integral parts of this journaling adventure.
AOL alerts sure have been quiet lately. Kind of like a ghost town. Just a few still writing there. I still have more journals to add to my "I'm reading" list. If I missed yours, please let me know. I don't want to lose any.
Short entry, gotta go shower and work for a couple hours.
My words are returning. For those that didn't read the entry in "Walking" , I was having trouble expressing myself, going through some depression. I've been working on coming out the other side of that, and in a way the closing of J-Land may be helping. Gotta go...
~Thanks For Stopping By~

October Days

2008-10-03T09:53:00.000-04:00

I slept in this morning till 7:25. Very late for me. I was up late, up in the middle of the night for an hour or so, I guess I needed it. It's just weird to wake up with it already light outside.

It looks like it's going to be a beautiful day. The sky is that autumn blue that carries just a touch of silver undertone. Temps will be in the low 50's, so it's sweatshirt time. I think I'll pack a lunch and head to the State Park for awhile before my 4pm shift. The water takes on an especially deep blue as it gets colder, and it'll be nice and quiet there.

The nights will carry the frosty temps below 30. I put an extra blanket in with the kitties and worried about them(probably why I was awake at 4am.), but they seem to have done okay. I still don't know what's going on with them finding new homes yet. Potsey's got classes all week, and his girlfriend is in Chicago till later today. They'll both need nudged to get them taken care of. I'm worried.

I am finding my way around here better. Still have some decisions to make about migrating and saving my other journals. I have a terrible habit of procrastinating. This may help me break that habit. It will at least improve my computer skills!

Short and sweet is the catch phrase for today, I've got some things to do before I head to the lake. So, as always...

~Thanks For Stopping By~

WooHoo!!

2008-10-01T10:38:00.000-04:00

Hey, look what I did. I added a photo. The thing is-I did it completely by accident. I was just looking at what to do clicked on the pic I wanted and poof. Who knew?

Well, day 2 has me trying to follow everyone, and just figure this all out better. I'm so proud of me! I haven't deleted anything major yet, which is always a good sign in my book.

Did I tell you that we were feeding a stray cat? She showed up one day and Potsey's girlfriend fed her, so she adopted us(for the free food). Well, they're supposed to be finding her a home, only now the situation's just a little bit more complicated.

I discovered that she has 3 kittens. Very adorable kittens just about a month old. I would love to keep one, but don't have the money for the extra security deposit. Or the vet bills. I did name them, though. The little girl is Cleo-as in Cleopatra-with lines around her eyes that look like heavy eyeliner. The 2 little boys are Marc(he's the only one with a black mark on his nose) and you guessed it, the other boy is Anthony(Tony for short). ::sigh:: I've tried not to get attached, they have to leave here.

Well, that's it from this front, for now.

~Thanks For Stopping By~

Deep Breath...::sigh::

2008-09-30T22:29:00.000-04:00

And another. For an inept computer user like me, this is B I G!
So far, so good. I just need to poke around and figure things out here.
I have alot to learn in the next *less than* a month.

This may be the big push to get me to learn how to use this laptop of mine, finally. I have LOTS of questions that I'll need to track down the answers for.

Another deep breath....

In one of my efforts to keep track of everyone, I started a folder in favorites for J-Land members new addys. Any tips(in very simple English, please) will be immensely appreciated.

I'll have to check out the things I need to do here.
I have a half-pot of coffee, no early shifts tomorrow, and my battery's charging, so I'm good to go.

That's it for now, here. I'm going over to "I was thinking..."

Testing-1, 2, 3

2008-09-30T15:25:00.000-04:00

Okay, we'll see how this goes. I'm going to try to combine both of my other journals into one. Sometimes just things going on in my life, sometimes about my struggles with "Self".
I'll have to come back later tonight to figure this whole thing out.
:) Leigh